Thank you for showing an interest in my page and deciding to visit. This will be the first of many blog posts from me and i’m both excited and apprehensive. Why would I be a little nervous about starting a blog?
BECAUSE PEOPLE SUCK.
Let’s be real, there’s a lot of really judgmental people out there. On occasion I’ve been one of them. We all have. Being a little crappy is a part of growing up. But, that’s why we’re here. Not only are we learning to love and accept ourselves, we’re learning to love and accept others. It’s 2017, and it’s about damn time that we start being open and honest and stop judging one another.
So, now that we’re being open, honest, and non-judgmental people, let me start telling you what pushed me to put my life out there for other people to read.
I suffer from an auto-immune disorder called Hidradentitis Suppurativa. It’s rare, so rare in fact that many dermatologists, surgeons, and doctors that I have seen do not have a clue that something like this even existed, and it’s not uncommon for people to look at me with that “confused-puppy dog” face when I explain my disease to them. HS is believed to be an incurable autoimmune disease that causes boils to form in the folds of the skin and has a profound impact on quality of life. Most people experience this in the under arms, the groin area, and underneath the breasts. The boils can pop up in one area but then move around to different areas. Mine happens to be in between and underneath my breasts but I have been fortunate enough to not experience this in different locations of my body. I’d like to be clear that this disease is not an STD, I did not contract this from another person, It is not a bacterial infection such as MRSA, and it is not because I do not properly take care of my personal hygiene – a HUGE shout out to my latest dermatologist for that one, it made me feel great.
For a long time, I turned to medicine for help. I went through two rounds of Accutane when I was a junior in high school and i’d like to say it really did clear up my normal acne and i felt more confident, however I do not believe that using this medication is worth the risk of possible side effects. I started running thinking that maybe if I lost weight it would go away.Countless rounds of damaging antibiotics. I tried tanning in a tanning bed to dry the areas out. And last December I went to see a surgeon.
If you have this disease and you’re reading this, this is important. I know you don’t want to hear this, because I didn’t. Surgery Isn’t The Answer.
I’m so thankful that on the day I went in for my surgery the doctor decided it was to risky to perform the procedure on that large of an area under local anesthesia.
At the time though, that was about the fifth time that a doctor had let me down, I was devastated. I was never going to find help, I was always going to be in pain, I was always going to have to hide my cleavage and pray to god that when I bled profusely that the blood wasn’t running through my bra to my shirt for everyone to see.
That’s when I found the internet community of people who suffer from HS all over the world. I started connecting, I started learning, and I decided to really listen to what these people had to say. After all, most of them had more experience with the disease and why try what they already know doesn’t work? Someone on Youtube had suggested trying a vegan diet to cure yourself. He had followed a strict vegan diet for the past year and and hadn’t had one breakout. I LOVED the idea of curing myself. If no one else could help me, well guess what I COULD.
So, three months ago I decided I was going to do this myself. I needed to really do this for me and if it didn’t work, no harm done. I went vegan in one day. And i’m so proud and happy to say that I have not had one breakout in three months. I have never felt this good in my life. I feel lighter, happier, healthier, and honestly I feel more connected to my body and my spirituality. I’m finding it easier to love myself and my body and that’s what we’re here to discover.
So, if you’ve stayed with me til the end thank you! I know it’s been a bit of a story but please if you have questions or comments I’d love to hear back from you, tell me your story and let’s learn to love ourselves, because if we don’t, who will?